Roommates

What are some personality issues to consider when choosing roommates?

By the very nature of the relationship, roommates should get along with one another. Finding this type of relationship often means looking at some things to see if you are both on the same page prior to cementing the relationship. Here are things you should most likely have in common in terms of personality:

• Temperament. Are you both mellow and easy to please, or does one of you have a bad temper? Matching moods can help things feel good most of the time.
• Social attachment. What are your companionship needs? Do you both like to have people over all of the time or is one of you a loner? Living with a compatible style here will really help.
• Energy level. Do you both prefer to stay in and be couch potatoes or does one of you always have to be on the move? One can drive the other one crazy if you aren't careful.
• Wake/sleep cycle. Early risers can be compatible with night owls, but it can also be a difficult match. Consider it carefully.
• Open-mindedness. If one of you likes to go out to the bars every night of the week and it makes the other uncomfortable, it won't be a match made in heaven.

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What are some guidelines for college roommates?

Are there rules for college roommates? Not really, but there should be sometimes! Here are some time-tested tips for being the best roommate you can be while away at school:

• Talk to each other. Make sure resentments don't build up. Fights can happen that way.
• Have respect for the other person's things. Don't borrow without asking and try not to move their stuff around if possible.
• Be polite. This goes a long way. Say please and thank you. Ask before having company over and don't be loud late at night. It's only fair.
• Realize you'll have to make sacrifices. Nobody gets their own way all of the time. Nor should they.
• Clean up. You don't have to be spotless all the time, but do a little picking up every day.
• Give the person a little space. Everyone needs some alone time.
• Be nice. Once in a while spring for dinner or buy the toilet paper without being asked. A little bit of goodwill goes a very long way.

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How can I tell if a roommate shares my views on cleaning?

Find a roommate you like and all is well. Find one you don't, and life becomes very difficult. One of the biggest problems people have is cleaning. If you can match this item, life with a roommate will be far more pleasant. Ask some of the following questions to determine if you are both on the same level when it comes to cleaning your apartment:

• How often do you think an apartment should be dusted?
• How often do you thing an apartment should be vacuumed?
• How many times a week would you like the bathroom cleaned?
• What type of food storage habits do you have? Do you cook, clean up and refrigerate leftovers immediately or whenever you get around to it?
• Do dirty dishes in the sink bother you?
• How often do you like to do laundry?
• What things do you have trouble tolerating in terms of cleaning?
• Does it bother you if clothes are left out in a common area? What about other things?
• Do you think recycling is important?
• Do you like to share cleaning tasks or prefer to have things split up?
• On a scale from one to ten, how important is having a clean apartment to you?

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How can I resolve conflict with a roommate?

Fighting is no fun, but it does happen and roommates will need to know how to resolve any conflicts that arise. Having a plan for this type of situation is a good thing. Here are some ways to make peace and find your way back to a good relationship again:

• Talk about the division of labor up front. Who takes out the dog? Do you switch off weeks to do the shopping? Get who does what out of the way and things will be less likely to get out of hand in the first place. Hang it on the refrigerator if need be.
• Nip things in the bud. If you let anger build, it will come out sooner or later anyway. If your roommate does something to upset you, wait for a good time and then just tell them as nicely as you can. They may not even be aware they did anything to make you angry; give them the benefit of the doubt.
• Be the first to apologize. If it comes down to it, preserving the relationship is far more important than being right. It probably won't matter in a week anyway.
• Set a "talk time" for airing any issues. Catch up once a month and have coffee to share any concerns you may have with the other person.

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