Apartment Living BlogApartment Living › Defending Your Apartment From Monsters

Catastrophes such as fires, floods or even earthquakes can be problematic for homeowners. But what if your home is attacked by a monster? What if there was a werewolf breaking down your door? How about if a mummy was in your living room? How the heck do you stop a headless horseman?! We’ll show you a few tips to fight off these monsters and keep your home and loved ones safe.

defending your apartment from monsters
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Dracula:

From far away in Transylvania comes this blood-sucking, centuries-old vampire, Dracula. Not only can he control your mind, but he could also transform into a bat. There are several ways to stop this fanged menace. A crucifix-themed décor will certainly stop the vampire. Also let in rays of sunshine with floor-to-ceiling windows to keep out the Count. Even your leftover fettuccine alfredo with garlic could be used to defend your home. If Dracula transforms into a bat, you could use your bug zapper to stop him.

Werewolf:

Our next threat transforms into a werewolf at the sight of the full moon. If one of these hairy creatures gets into your place, stop it in its clawed tracks using silver. A silver bullet, silver fireplace poker or even a silver butter knife through the heart should do the trick. And because the werewolf shares the same DNA as your dog, perhaps a squeaky chew toy will distract it. If you suspect your roommate of being afflicted with lycanthropy, use a giant shackle to keep him or her bound during the full moon. If you don’t have a shackle, a bike lock will work.

Headless Horseman:

If a headless horseman rides into your home, there’s no need to lose your head. Overcome this ghoul from Sleepy Hollow by heading upstairs; his horse won’t be able to climb the flight of stairs. Be sure to keep a fire extinguisher handy to extinguish any fiery pumpkins he may try to throw at you. Or perhaps pulling your shirt over your head may fool the rider into thinking you are a fellow headless horseman, and he may move on.

Frankenstein’s Monster:

To defend your home from an 8-foot-tall reanimated corpse, simply use fire. Exploit Frankenstein’s Monster’s fear that “fire, bad!” Place many scented candles around, light up your fireplace and even load your old fireplace computer screensavers. You could also use deception to fool the monster. Ladies, try a makeover with a high-standing hairstyle and grey highlights. The monster will think you are its bride and most likely fall in love with you.

The Mummy:

This centuries-old Egyptian is cursed to live forever, but he doesn’t have to haunt your home forever. You could train your cat to attack this heavily bandaged fiend as it would a scratching post. Then use your floor or ceiling fans to catch and unwind the mummy’s wrappings. Keep an empty storage container around as an impromptu tomb to trap the mummy.

Swamp Creature:

If there’s a prehistoric half-man, half-amphibian terror lurking in your pool or fish pond, there are several techniques you could use to keep your household safe. Save the silica gel packs from your Amazon purchases to dry out the creature. Use six-pack rings to tangle up the beast. Challenge the Swamp Creature to the favorite pool game, Marco Polo. When it’s his turn to be “it” and his eyes are closed, leave and never return.

If you find yourself in a situation where all the monsters listed are attacking your home at once, lure them into a trap by playing the 1962 hit song, “The Monster Mash.” Once they are inside and engaged in a full sing-along performance, simply lock them in and charge neighborhood children to see the most authentic haunted house in town.

Sources:
https://en.wikipedia.org
http://www.wikia.com
http://www.librarypoint.org/history_of_classic_monsters_mummies
http://www.iii.org/article/your-renters-insurance-checklist

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About :

Amber is the Director of Content Marketing for ForRent.com and has been with the company since April 2007. In her role, Amber strategizes, executes and optimizes a content and social media plans across multiple channels and platforms. This includes blogs, social networks, video sharing sites, and other conversational media. She spends a great deal of time building relationships with consumers, social media influencers, and bloggers to generate awareness of the ForRent.com brands. In her free time, Amber loves running, #hashtags, and DIY projects.

Comments

  1. This is quite amazing and very comprehensive! I’ll definitely keep this handy in case of a monster emergency. I will need to find another garlic solution, however, because it’s difficult to choose between leaving my space vulnerable or not eating my coveted Olive Garden leftovers!

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